The little things are what add up to make a society, and this blog is about how to do them right. Today's topic is...
Walking
The Problem
Modern humans have walked the earth for around 200,000 years. Never in that time have we been worse at it. Armies used to march hundreds of miles - now one member of our species can't march properly to the Dippin' Dots stand.
If you see one person walking down an empty street, he's almost always doing so correctly. But people in more crowded areas are prone to suddenly stopping - which is really goddamn annoying to the person behind them.
While the random stop always will remain the worst problem, people also may walk really slowly - oblivious to the bottleneck behind them - or they may veer wildly back and forth, even when their destination is directly in front of them. The latter behavior is only excusable while drunk.
All in all, the larger the number of people around, the worse each one is at walking. At a really big event like a baseball game, amusement park, etc., movement is virtually impossible as one quickly becomes surrounded by homo sapiens sapiens moving about - or not - in random fashion, blocking any conceivable path to hot dogs.
The Solution
We need to publicize that walking is quite simple. It is just step after step until you're there.
If you're walking five steps, it's step, step, step, step, step and then you're there. Most people are pretty clear on this.
What people don't realize is it never gets more complex. If you're walking a full mile, it is just step, step, step, step, 2000 times until you're there. It is natural to stop if stopping is necessary, say, to not get hit by a car. But in the situation where there's nothing in front of you, step, step, step away.
All in all, the larger the number of people around, the worse each one is at walking. At a really big event like a baseball game, amusement park, etc., movement is virtually impossible as one quickly becomes surrounded by homo sapiens sapiens moving about - or not - in random fashion, blocking any conceivable path to hot dogs.
The Solution
We need to publicize that walking is quite simple. It is just step after step until you're there.
If you're walking five steps, it's step, step, step, step, step and then you're there. Most people are pretty clear on this.
What people don't realize is it never gets more complex. If you're walking a full mile, it is just step, step, step, step, 2000 times until you're there. It is natural to stop if stopping is necessary, say, to not get hit by a car. But in the situation where there's nothing in front of you, step, step, step away.
Update: Ten minutes after posting this, a large woman stopped dead in her tracks in front of me in a doorway to converse with someone, leaving some girl to awkwardly hold the door so Sudden Stopper wouldn't get hit with it.
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